As many of you know, four and a half years ago my husband, Michael, found two large lumps in his neck which were eventually diagnosed as head and neck cancer. We had recently lost a friend to exactly the same illness and had watched him struggle with all of the known medical interventions that had left him speechless, unable to eat except through a tube in his stomach, debilitated and, eventually, dead after a painful two-year “battle with cancer.” It was a war we didn’t want to fight. Instead we opted to try a different approach using nutrition and the gifts of many alternative practitioners. It seemed important to welcome this experience with love and curiosity; to, as Rumi suggests, “Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
We have been somewhat successful in that Michael’s cancer has progressed very slowly and, until recently, he has been mostly pain-free. We have worked with a number of time-consuming and costly regimens, none of which are covered by any kind of health insurance. Michael has shown incredible grace while trying to balance all the pieces of taking care of his body, exploring his soul, making a living and being a father to our teenaged son.
Last summer, however, Michael discovered a new lump and began experiencing pain, at times so severe that he has had to resort to serious medication to control it. The stress of working with this illness has begun to take its toll in a frightening way. It has become harder for Michael to have the energy required to do all the things he needs to do for his body, much less earn a living as a musician in a depressed economy. He still sees private students, but other projects have by necessity been put on the back burner. My work is going well, but we are finding ourselves about $1,000 short each month. So far we have covered that by selling equipment or getting help from family. We considered selling the house, but found out it is now worth almost less than what we owe on it thanks to the drop in real estate values.
I feel that we are at an important place in Michael’s wellness, a turning point. It's hard to know which is more frightening for us, to need help or to ask for it. But in discussing it, we realized that there are ways we could really use some support:
• We are organizing a prayer circle in which we all pray for Michael for a moment at 9:00 a.m. each day. I had a friend who did this for her husband with powerful results. Obviously not everyone will remember every day, but if we have enough people participating, we can send a significant amount of focused energy. If, later in the day, you remember that you forgot, please pray anyway.
• I could use a few more clients. I am blessed in that my work is a refuge for me, so my time with clients not only provides me with money for our expenses, it also nourishes me and keeps me resourced in deeper truths. If you don’t know what I do, you can look at my website which is www.miarunanin.com or feel free to call and ask.
• We need financial help. I know in these times that’s a tall order and may not be one that can be filled, but if many people give just a little every month, it could add up and help us to hold space for Michael’s healing. Alternative care can be expensive, and as we’ve run out of money, we have been unable to follow up on certain lines of treatment. There is a gadget to the right and at the end of this blog that allows you to donate online via Paypal, or you can mail a check to:
Michael Telle
47 Alhambra Circle
Fairfax, CA 94930
• Finally, I notice that we have become somewhat isolated in this process. I would love it if people checked in with us periodically to say hello and stay connected.
If you can help in any of these ways we would be more than grateful. Ultimately wellness for all of us depends on knowing that we are held by something larger than ourselves. For Michael, feeling the support of the community around him may well be the medicine we have yet to try.
With love and thanks,
Mia Runanin
(415) 250-5230
